Saturday, January 15, 2011

Sigh No More.

           Well, the time has come to return to school.  This, as one can easily imagine, brings about bittersweet feelings.  So much has happened over the course of the month I've been back at home.  Quite a bit of self-discovery and re-prioritizing has taken place.  It's odd what I've learned by being back at home, back to my roots.  It seems once you're brought back to your upbringing and your roots you're able to regain a sense of priority.  Turns out mine have been pretty screwed up.  Now, I can say that they are aligned to my preference as well as where they should be.  My past few blogs have been filled with things I will do no more of.  As of right now I'm not too sure what I will do to prevent said things from happening, but I am willing to try to fix them all.  
          I spent this last week at home with my family.  The majority of my friends had gone back to school but after having a discussion with important people in my life, I realized that family is where I need to be this week, and I was.  Tonight, for example, was better than I could have imagine.  My family and I sat and watched movies together.  I don't recall the last time we all sat together and watched something for an extended amount of time, without someone growing bored and taking their interests elsewhere for several minutes.  It was pleasant.  Something I took advantage of while I have been at home for the past someteen years of my life.  
        Going through all of the breakup crap that I went through, I looked to my friends and family for support.  After it happened the third time I figured they had grown tired of listening to my sob stories and how much I missed him and love him, ect.  Turns out I was incorrect.  These people in my life known as family and friends (the real friends) are always there for me, no matter what.  It was completely foolish of me to think that my friends would grow annoyed of my sad demeanor and complaining about things I had wished to be true.  They're not.  I still can't believe, for a split-second, I could think such a thing.  Family is something you will always have, no matter what.  These are the people that will be there for you, always.  Learn to build a strong relationship with them, because they are people in your life that should never give up on you.  As far as friends go, build strong relationships with them as well.  "Friends forever" isn't some girly nonsense term that is thrown around.  Find those friends in your life that that very term will apply to.  Unfortunately, I've also come across a few unfortunate happenings that might have damaged friendships as well.  With my ex, I'm not entirely sure what's going on anymore.  I just gonna go out on a limb here and say...I kinda ruined that.  Jealousy, yes.  The green monster.  So very unattractive.  A word of advice to all of you out there...don't make your jealousy known.  It's not endearing in the least, so I've learned.  It makes people want to stop talking to you.  Speaking of people who've decided to stop talking to you (forgive the rant, it'll just be moment), like I said in an early post: Make room for the people in your life who are willing to make room for you.  Sadly, even after years of friendship consisting of its highs and lows, things still find a way to not work themselves out. Whatevs.
        I've realized the many things I'm blessed with over the break.  It's sad that it took a month at home (4 months after I started school) to realize what I had.  Like they say, you don't know what you have until it's gone.  Or, several hundred miles away at least.  Heading back to school with a new attitude and a new appetite for life.  Happiness is a choice and I choose happiness.

Happy new semester! Best of luck!

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